I’m very stressed. I’ve got severe stress!
This phrase has been heard thousands of times in the last 22 years.
About 22 years ago when I did my Masters in Applied Psychology, then I trained in various fields of psychology from over a dozen international institutes.
Allah enabled me to learn directly from Richard Bandler, the founder of the NLP, and Daniel Golman, the creator of the term Emotional Intelligence, and the giants of the same tribe. Clinical psychology did not become a field but continued to learn psychotherapy which came in handy in executive coaching.
However, in the first 10 years, I kept making mistakes
Whenever someone would tell me with a sigh of relief and a grounded self-steam that I was stressed, my next question would be “Oooh, what’s bothering you?” Now, ten years later, when I think about this question, my stupidity makes me laugh.
The answer was obvious to the thousands of people who approached me. They clearly knew who was giving them stress. The stressors were their bosses, the office colleagues
They had wives, they had husbands, they had infidelity, they had incompetent and rude children.
There were business partners, there were parents, there were old friends, there was the president of the country, there was the prime minister, there was the chief of army staff, there was the system of the country, there was the weather, so there was a lot of stress all over the place. Was, except for himself.
My mistake was that I was made corrected by NLP founder Richard Bandler ten years ago when he was giving a presentation during a training session on hypnosis. I count Richard Bandler as one of the 100 most extraordinary people I’ve ever met.
“I’m very stressed. I’ve got a lot of stress.” The Norwegian blonde girl Carla says to Richard patted on the forehead.
“Which pocket is the stress?” Richard stared at him.
Several colors passed over the girl’s face.
“Actually, I get a lot of stress,” Carla said barely swallowing.
“Then refuse to take it.” Richard Says
“I have a lot of stress on my head, neck, and upper body.” Carla was almost crying now.
“Then do that. Take that load off and put it down. Why are you carrying it?” Richard said in a rough tone without any impression.
What I was seeing was beyond my comprehension. More shocking was the fact that Carla was returning from a 20-minute session when she overcame her 15-year-old stress.
When the debriefing took place that day, I couldn’t help but be confused with Richard. I was not alone, two European psychologists were with me and Richard was calling the psychotherapists “psycho the rapist” and teasing us.
“Yeah. You’ve come for counseling. You think I should have asked Carla, oh Carla, my dear, who’s giving you stress and then sit down and listen to her stories for the next couple of days, her mom.” She listens to the evils of her husband and her friend and then sends him a long bill. He banged his hand on the table.
“The biggest problem is that you, the psychologist, are responsible for exacerbating the problem. People who suffer from stress and autism hold the whole world responsible for their problems, in addition to themselves. Or many slaves are responsible for their stress. If you keep listening to their stories while patting them, how will they learn that their role in relieving stress is the most important, “said Richard, almost roaring? And then uttered a historical phrase.
“If you are stressed, remember that no matter what people around the world are doing, you are not responsible for what they do. You are only responsible for what you do. So when they are giving you stress. , So you refuse to take “.
Someone put a bucket of cold water on my head. I found out ten years later that my first question to a stress victim was wrong.
Knowing that our mood is our own responsibility was a turning point. For the last ten years, I haven’t seen anyone who is giving him stress. Because it doesn’t matter. The stress taker just has to refuse the stress giver, the stress taker and the game is over!
Maybe you read this and laughed. How can this be so simple? Because you know people in your home and neighborhood who have twenty, thirty, and forty years of stress management experience, and many people consider them an incurable case.
We become experts in the work we do constantly. People who constantly practice happiness develop a happiness file. Those who are constantly sad, become devadas. We forget that the work we do every day and for years becomes part of our psychological DNA.
Do not assume that stress does not involve any foreign element. You may have fatalities, quarrels, quarrels, divorces, etc. Stress, financial crisis, financial loss, traveling, moving from one place to another, having an accident, jealousy, jealousy, bitterness, hatred, and many other reasons. Maybe around you.
However, people with a particular emotional fever are more prone to anger, trauma, anxiety, and depression, and the main reason for this is their perception of any event.
Remember the problem is not what has happened, but your specific perception of it. It is the sound that is coming to your ears and it is the video that is playing in your thoughts. Then there are the old habits that make us experts at taking the stress.
Effects Of Stress
As soon as we think about an event with a stress framework, it has a severe effect on our breathing, and the stress hormones adrenaline and cortisol leave the body, now the twelve spices are completed and you are free and Do stress as much as you can.
The bottom line is that it doesn’t matter what the stress is. Stress is a cycle of understanding your specific lens, lifestyle, and thinking. The outside world is out of your approach, hundreds, thousands of things will continue to happen and you will stress your own self. You have to work on yourself, not on anyone else. You have to correct the number of your glasses and maybe even change the glasses.
I hope that knowing that you are responsible for your own stress will be stressful for you because it is a great pleasure to see the world as the cause of your problems.
Keep in mind that in the form of constant stress you will lose the quality of your life. And it would be a great ingratitude for this blessing.
Credits: Arif Anees
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